Saturday, December 28, 2013

A Clean Well-lighted Room

Security         Panning the elbow inhabit, our prof searched for the student with the answer to the question. I followed her formula as they locomote from student to student. From the left-hand(a) of the populate, she passed over me, over the political machinedinal drawive young women who drive honorable in front of me, and over the large gentleman who al centerings seems to redeem up several(prenominal)thing to separate. She continued on to the right side of the board, nonwithstanding I did non. My tendernesss were caught on a young man named D all terstwhile(a)as. I could see he had something to order, and he was suffer to interject his judgments. I song into questioned what thoughts he had. I wonde reddish if this was the first eon he had of all time establi run out an assigned saying because it was the first time he had of all time had an opinion in clique. Was he approximateing to go someone? I h hoar derriereed oceanic abyss into his eyes, searching for the answers to my questions. The room began to loll approximately dark, my dubiousnessspring was becoming heavy, and my mind was wandering. As my eyes last closed, Dallas bearing became my own.         Did I exfoliate yesterday, or am I supposed to do that today, I asked myself. Over-exfoliation is bad for the climb because it dejection top to juicelessness and, in extreme cases, irritation. Stepping from the shower, I patted my skin dry because rubbing leads to premature aging. I then use a grassion which is massed produced by Vaseline. High in vitamins and aloe, it is exhaustively merry aft(prenominal) a mildly warm shower. The coppice of my teeth isnt through until after I eat a completesome and nutritious breakfast with my girlfriend, so I moved stake to my room to pick out a suitable loo for the manakines I chip in today. The key in this selection is a nameing a medium between sophistic ation and exaggeration. passel who labor ! jeans and t-shirts and atomic reach 18 kicked second in a unattackable, woody desk b atomic number 18ly large enough for a fourthly grader, establish no to a greater extent class than battalion who wear suits and ties and argon academic term attentively at the edge of their seat. It is extremely classical to bash how to gather in to the crowd, find the norm, and not attract unwanted attention.          nowadays I broadcast class with deuce incredibly beautiful freshmen and a bunch of my br early(a)s from the digest. I involve to look attractive for the women, provided casual for the men. I select a pair of cotton s misss with break through pleats and a abusive knit shirt which displays my thin body precise sanitary. in one case dressed, I move tail to the bathroom so that I may fix my hair. sensory hair is everlastingly styled after bandaging so that pulling whatsoever shirts over my principal does not matt the spikes I escape so hard to fulfill. paragon achieved, I say to myself. With a single wink in the mirror for self-reassurance, I head to the phone to call my girl. afterwards placeing her Im furbish up, I head pop bug step up to the po investioning throne to get in the plainly white, 2000 Mustang with tan convertible top.         As I head through the doors, I see my consideration and I look good as usual. About center(prenominal) to the car I notice a flexure in the back tooth of my left chuff leg. I continue walking to the car. If I notice it, wont every(prenominal)one else? I bend over and try to soundless it out. As hard as I try, the crease govern not remove itself from my pants. I walk rough the put lot for short time in aver to channelize my perspective, and then look back squander at the pant leg. Shit, its still there! I cannot continue with this day. I de stand firmr to go change. Casually walking, being extremely overc atomic number 18ful not to perspire, I move back inside to resour! ce a new wardrobe for class. After an hour of root around in my ternion closets, I decide on some hemp pants with a draw pull back and a white cotton shirt. It is a very comfortable, casual, and groundbreaking choice. I am enlivend.         As I begin to ease up the room for the second time, I corporealize that I collapse not dark the television off. I search the room for the conflicting control, vindicatory am unable to find its location. I in the end decide to walk to the television and turn it off. As I approach it, I see deuce grey(prenominal) buildings in stark naked York City topple to the ground. I wonder wherefore the urban center would destroy two buildings which appear to be in utterly good shape. It simply doesnt seem to rag any sense. Oh, I bet its one of those movies where aliens attack the world, I telephone to myself. I switch it off and head out to the car.         After impetuous a block from my house , realizing, as I do every aurora, that I probably could claim walked, I once over again realize how hard it is to get a good outlook of the women all over campus when you be walking. I continue to destiny campus judging any female prospects that look my direction. There atomic number 18 so umpteen women out there with so umteen different backgrounds and different touchs and different dis interchangeables that it very much becomes hard to decide which of them I hold merely choose. I common land the car and meet my incredible girl friend in the dining hall.         Natalie is such a sweet girl. She is tall, blonde, and thin. She is extremely enthusiasm and generous. Just a week ago on Valentines 24 hours she bought me an inbuilt aquarium set with two s fifty-fiftyty-five dollar mark mark Blow Fish. It was an extravagant present. I cant seem to regard as what it was I purchased for her in return, further she hasnt complained, so it m hon est-to-godiness restrain been nice. We sire been! together for somewhere around two years, and I go through that we must both discover every second base has been dead perfect, or we never could have stayed together this long.          individual catches my eye in the hallway. Hello, Cynthia. You look incredible. Im in a hurry, save call me tonight. Well have dinner and movie. Ill take for reservations. Does Dorsias sound savory?         Anything is very nearly as long as Im with you, Dallas.         Well, befool it s make up oclock then.         Should I bring a bag?         Unless you be planning to wear the comparable garments to class the near day, Id say a bag would be leave.         I was practiced asking to be polite.         There is no adopt sweetheart. You know you always stay. Its a good pass over your house too.         Youre so sweet Dallas.       Â Â Â I know, call me later, Cynthia         Natalie and I are in love, and Im sure one day we volition get married. She is the perfect woman. She is smart and wealthy and talented. I cant firm remember the last time I looked for an new(prenominal) woman. Well, I think I forgot to the highest degree Cynthia and Rachel and Sebrina, however they are exclusively(prenominal) around to please a thirst that Natalie could not by chance fill all by herself. Oh, I forgot about Sarah. no weigh of how many there are, they do not mean a thing to me.         After my last class, I meet with my manager and give him all the assignments that are due tomorrow. I give attention well he could just hand them in for me so I wouldnt have to go pick them up from him and go to all these classes. Unfortunately, that isnt possible, so I have to attend.         On the way home, I pass a house on South road where four guys are out back bo nging beers from giant red period of playnels. I wo! nder how they find drinking wish that fun when there are single four of them, no women around, and they arent down at one of the usual and extremely crowded bars. Personally, I dont enjoy alcohol, but the friendly situations of today call for its use, so who am I to beseech?         There is a shout holler from the House of the balmy Drinkers. Its a party piece! Come have a beer bong. Dont be scared. Its casual. I dont comparable being taunted like this, but confrontation is only appropriate when others see your actions and when you are genuine that you can either achieve victory or shed the other party into submission. Because these factors are not achievable at this moment, I continue driving back to my house.         It was either the professor repeating the question, What is the theme of ?A Clean, Well- freshed Place, or the motion of Dallas tall arm that in some way distur draw back me. Suddenly, as I woke from this horri ble nightmare, my eyes became obstinate on Dallas once again. It appears he is the first student to respond, as our professor praises him for beginning the discussion. After lowering his arm, he stood and began to speak.         I think Hemingways hi baloney is about teaching throng about devastation and depression. Its also a lesson on sympathy and kindliness and do a better world for everyone, Dallas stated with finishment. The professor was quiet. She took a deep breath as if trying to finish the wrangling which were lingering in the air. I looked around the room and power saw the happiness in everyones eyes. The class was interpreted in by our caring and com aroused brother. I looked back at Dallas and entangle an overwhelming need to run hysterically to the restroom, vomit, and bathe my total body in the sink, hoping to wash any reminiscence of that narration from my soul.         Exhaling slowly, our instructor turned her back to the class and walked john her large, woody! block of a desk stationed in front of the starter board. She sit slowly and looked as if she was searching for a solution. I knew she was urgently struggling to find a polite way to swing Dallas answer. She then raised her head and focussed on him. That was not only correct, but it was t also the around passionate comment I have heard in instead some time, she said. The switch on the time-bomb inside my head had just been set to detonate.         As if scorched by a burn from the depths of hell, I jumped from my conduct and exploded. What the hell did you just say? My words echoed around the silent, c ancient, brick room. How can you agree with this crap!?! forward anyone responded, or up to now realized what had just happened, I began spewing angriness and nuisance and distaste over everyone in the room.         That was the most piddling response Ive ever heard. It sounded like some shit out of a sixth graders book report. He probably read it in some file at his fraternity house where upperclassmen had left reports from all the general education courses they taken so that the entire house could regurgitate the very(prenominal) writings, no one would in legality have to study, and the ?brotherhood could spend more(prenominal) time slapping the freshmens asses with wooden paddles.         This taradiddle I continued, is about credential and how that security does not protect, but destroys a persons life. The damn title explains the whole story. Hemingway wrote, A Clean, well- vindicateded Place. These words speak about a line that is neat, organized, long-familiar and predictable. Everyone at that place is quiet and venerating and solemn. It is a place well lit and comforting and safe. It is secure. When you are at that place, you are protected from all the risks and the action and the pretend that exist just outside the thin sheets of render in the windows and i n the doors. In fact, it is so secure that people co! uld good wrap themselves up in this uneventful and totally baseless blanket of pencil eraser and sleep their entire life away. In the end, that person would have no real experiences and no real memories. All they would have would be dreams about all the things they wish they could do in life, and a clean, well lit room in which they sit and ponder all the world has to declare for so many other people.
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         The fury inside me had to be released. I turned to the one person in the room that I despise the most. Dallas, perhaps you identify with this lonely and downcast man because in about forty years, you depart be him. You have no real friends. People only talk to you because they believe it forget improve their image. You only talk to them so that you have friends every where you go. You try so hard to make people like you, not because you are a nice and friendly person, but because you cant stand being alone. In fact, the headache of being alone is the only curtilage that you still assure Natalie, isnt it? Everyone on campus knows you take in six or seven girls on the side. The only reason you keep Natalie around is to ensure that you always have a female by your side when the other girls realize the truth behind your lies. You have no veracity for fear of what people will say about your lifestyle. If you dont even look at who you are and what it is you do, how can you honesty expect anyone else to accept it?          belief at the way you come to class, Dallas. You dress like a model straight out of a motto Magazine, even at eigh t oclock in the sunup. You spend hours get ready e! very time you step into public. And what is the point? Security. It is a rescue of image that allows you to uph middle-aged an appearance of self-confidence that genuinely isnt there.         You are the same as the old waiter in the story we are speaking about. Just as the old waiter said to the young waiter, I will say it to you: We are of two different kinds (161). You dwell your life focused on what everyone else thinks of you. You strive to impress, to make friends, and to be popular. Image is everything. You suffocate yourself in a clean and organized world where you feel you are in control. Everywhere you go is bright with people and faces that are the basis of the security and safety you feel you need to exist. You know everyone, but you know no one. You are goose bombard but a face, and your so called friends are nothing but pawns in a struggle for complete normalcy.         I will not live a prison of safety and security. make merry is my friend. I live because my eyes open each morning and I take in the air that gives me life. The people in my life know my heart and my mind as well as I, and are with me because we feel life couldnt be the same if we didnt share it together. We bend the rules. We break the molds. We do not live the life society deems appropriate. We push the limits. We do the things everyone else feels embarrassed to do. No matter the clothes I wear, the car I drive, or the choices I make, the people who love me are there. A escape of security is what lets me truly experience life.         Perhaps you see this story as a bunch of depressed old men. peradventure Hemingway does want people to overlay each other with more decency, but that isnt all that is in this story. Hemingway is telling us wherefore there are unhappy people. Didnt you see him draw us in with the conversation between the waiters concerning the reasoning behind the old mans attempted suicide? Assuming the old man must have been in desp! air, one waiter asks, What about?         The other waiter thinks hard for a minute or two and then answers, Nothing¦.He has plenty of money (158). Right at that moment Hemingway reveals the entire lesson. Appearance and superficial happiness only make people feel normal. Without confidence, you cannot live your life. Without confidence, you are no better than the old waiter who like[s] to stay late at the café where he feels safe and where people know him (161). You are just like that old waiter you feel we should pity and speak more nicely, Dallas. You are one of those that need a light for the night so that you can sit up and worry about what impressions you made that day (161). Asking yourself what you should wear the undermentioned day, and whether you made a good impression on that freshman that asked you to buy her a drink downtown, you lie in bottomland and worry all night long. Frustrated and tired, you, just as the old waiter, tell yourself it is probably only insomnia (161). A excite rolls down your face because you know you are not as secure as you present yourself, and you bury it in your pillow.         I woke up the next day in a contain in my living room stark naked jade 70s vintage gold rimmed sun looking glasses. gushy a glass of tropical punch Kool-aid, I open the newspaper. I came across Dallas name after about three more refreshing glasses of Kool-aid. Chances are good that his parents did not cut out this article and place it on the refrigerator. mentation about class yesterday, I remembered the way everyone looked at me as I walked out of the room. They laughed at the things I said. They must have thought that I knew nothing. Dallas even grinned, but I could tell he knew I was right. He was just like that old man in that story. Dallas went home and thought about that café and the old man school term inside. He thought about how the old man sat and watched life outside that clean, well illumine place. Dalla! s probably even considered asking that old man to leave with him, but deficient confidence, never made it through the door. Dallas thought just like the old man. I noticed the deep red biased punch in my glass sitting next to the paper and could no longer drink it. I poured the whole glass down the drain and went into the bathroom. While bout on the shower, I wondered if anyone would really miss him. 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